glacial> I love school
glacial> Today our term paper due date's set
glacial> Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with a note from the dead member.
glacial> So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
glacial> She waits for the laughs to die down and says:
glacial> "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand"
FM{FF1}> Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
FM{FF1}> ...men.
FM{FF1}> GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.
evilada>: Best suicide plan ever
mcm310>: what is it?
evilada>: you go up to the top of a roof
evilada>: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level
evilada>: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched
evilada>: then you put super glue on your hands
evilada>: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head
evilada>: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows
evilada>: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.
evilada>: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.
mcm310>: i dont think i can be your friend anymore
acidwar> last night, tony and I decided to stop off on the way to the party to get some beer
acidwar> we come out of the shop a few minutes later and there's a parking guy writing a ticket
acidwar> tony goes up to him and asks him what the ticket's for, parking guy explains that the car is parked in a no standing zone
acidwar> tony starts abusing him and tells him to cram it up his ass, so the guy writes a ticket for abusing him
Nuzzler> haha
acidwar> so tony gets up him even more, and every time he says something the guy writes another ticket
acidwar> 14 tickets later, the guy gives up and walks off
dendyh0> ...
acidwar> and we both PISS ourselves laughing as we walk back to tony's car around the corner, leaving some poor bastard with 14 parking fines :D
dendyh0> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Nuzzler> ROFL!!
factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.
BronsonTheBeef> So we were supposed to have a guest speaker in one of my classes
BronsonTheBeef> to talk about diversity and racism and shit today
BronsonTheBeef> prof's never met him..
BronsonTheBeef> in walks this super black gangsta ghetto dude
BronsonTheBeef> he's got a 'pimp' chain around his neck, wearing FUBU everything
BronsonTheBeef> has a gold watch and a ring on each finger, smells like pot and beer
BronsonTheBeef> he even had a do-rag on and a cigarrette tucked behind his ear
BronsonTheBeef> walks in in true rapper style flashing his crazy ghetto signs at us
BronsonTheBeef> the prof's like...'are you... jeff?'
BronsonTheBeef> he goes 'true dat, ho' and says 'you all my niggaz!' and he turns in a circle
BronsonTheBeef> waving his arms in the air singing about 'niggaz in 'da house' or some shit
BronsonTheBeef> so she tells him to give his speech on diversity and shit
BronsonTheBeef> and he starts talkin about 'the man' and how 'white folk be dissin'
BronsonTheBeef> then like a minute later this other black dude runs in dressed in a suit
BronsonTheBeef> and says 'sorry I'm late'
BronsonTheBeef> it turns out the first black dude was just baked. he doesn't even go to college
BronsonTheBeef> he just wanted to buy weed in the dorms
BlackDeth> i like stalked this girl sorta :D
BlackDeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work
BlackDeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
BlackDeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?
ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers
Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate driver.
Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.
Polytope> tetris is so unrealistic
YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH
YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #
YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF
Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns
mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
mage> no I mean like, WinZip?
Zybl0re> get up
Zybl0re> get on up
Zybl0re> get up
Zybl0re> get on up
phxlpaper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
Cthon98> ********* see!
AzureDiamond> hunter2
AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
Cthon98>
Cthon98> thats what I see
AzureDiamond> oh, really?
Cthon98> Absolutely
AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
AzureDiamond> awesome!
AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
AzureDiamond> oh, ok.
Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
TheXPhial> vaccuums
Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
TheXPhial> black holes
Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
TheXPhial> lava?
* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm being an asshole -
ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.
Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.
[Privmsg] Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
[Privmsg] Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg] opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)
[Privmsg] turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.
[Privmsg] Seeker> I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg] turno> *phew* spose you have a point
T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
T-Wolf> ya, why man?
RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
T-Wolf> you mother fucker
NES> lol
NES> I download something from Napster
NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
NES> "getting my song back fucker"
i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
BonyNoMore> wait
BonyNoMore> never mind
Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
Indidge> umm....nothing?
Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/
Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao
ckx> women ask for it
ckx> they act all old and mature
ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
ckx> and they get all bitchy
ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"
LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
LordChewy> "i know dad"
LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
LordChewy> and he just shut up
kingKahn> what is it?
LordChewy> its his porn folder
VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
peng> ...
peng> what?
VolteFace`> oh shit
VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you DROP shit
Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.
green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants
Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
Sabdo> and it typed out "France"
Sabdo> we were like, wtf?
aryov> This cake is soooo good
aryov> it's like sex, except I'm having it
... Wala, sobrang dami pa. Anyway just wanted to share. Wahahaha Ü
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