Bentahan

Madali lang naman akong aliwin... if you know my brand of humor. Otherwise I will think you are a freak. Here then are Nineteen Things that make me laugh like I ate special brownies, listed in no particular order:

When I somehow persuade Boobs to dance. (Anlaking tao, anlambot ng katawan.)

When Terens and I reminisce about our past. Bwahaha.

When Chix and Hannabis trip down memory lane and talk about highschool. Classic.

When Martin Maliblog bangs Sammy and Sammy pretends to be dead.

When admuECEzerosix plays basketball, and they heckle the other team while they horse around with the ref. (Edok manggugulat ng magfi-free throw bago mag-shoot. JP: "Kakampi nyo ko!" Edok: "Ay, sorry, sorry.")

When Neil, Cholo, JP, and Martin get together and all hell breaks loose. Chaos men.

When Phoebe, Dulce, or Grace makes some random hirit that totally betrays their mataray exterior. (Grace, while I'm wearing my red McDonald's shirt - see previous post: "Sa McDo tayo kain, tas punta ka sa likod ng counter para sasabihin ko, 'Jamie pengeng salt...'")

When Pia Pie recites the periodic table from memory using her memory aids. ("First column: Halinaka...")

When Tennessytan insists that his height is 5'6".

When Mike narrates his run-in with the Blue Eagles at Manang's.

When Joeness, in the middle of a basketball scuffle, screams "Not in the face!!!"

When JP tells Cholo, "Hindi yan yung titirahin, yung white!" while Cholo sets up his shot in billiards. Gets me every time.

When Yumul dances "Give it to Me" and "Are You That Somebody," or sings "A Little Bit."

When Mickey bearhugs JP from behind and JP almost cries 'cause he can't scratch his nose. ("Mickey ano ba Mickey tama na!!!")

When Sweetness lacks any form of sleep. (Kung ano-ano kase ang pinagsasasabi, english mode pa.)

When Lana makes sabit sa likod ng jeep. (Shet ang coño, di ko alam english ng sabit e. Hangs?)

When my vocabulary rubs off on my Lola Engnang, and she says "skwater" this and "skwater" that.

When I tell Utoy "Uluuuul," and he laughs and says "Uluuuul" back.

When my cousins team up with a videoke machine and sing "Halik ni Hudas" by Wolfgang , drunk, at 1 o'clock in the morning.



Sabi sa inyo mababaw lang ako e.

Strike three, I'm out

Tatlong beses na 'kong nanonood ng live sa Araneta Coliseum ng Ateneo-La Salle games.

Nung una, nag-cut kami ng Tcom ni Pineda. Kasama ko si Martin, JK, Cholo, at Dulce.
Nung pangalawa, ginago ko yung weekly review exam ko sa Excel para makahabol sa Araneta. Kasama ko si Martin, Dulce, Adnan, at Ron.
Nung pangatlo, kanina, nag-cut ako ng refresher. Kasama ko si JP, Miko, Rod & Ella, Edok & Date, King & Date, at Rocky.

Talo lahat.

Conclusion? I'm a plague, and an irresponsible plague at that. Kinakarma ata ako. Akala ko pwedeng si Dulce pa yung plague e, ako pala. Sorry Ateneo, it was my fault kaya tayo natatalo... hindi dahil ang team natin ay a bunch of chokers and crampers at the last minute. Depressing. Oh well, at least natuwa ako dun sa half-time break. Astig yung drummers e, sumasayaw amp.

I was really going to Excel today. Really. I was even going to wear this shirt:

Kaso baka mabugbog ako sa Excel e. Anyway sayang kase dapat sinuot ko sya para mabugbog naman ako sa Araneta. (Marie shirt mo nga pala 'to, hahaha Ü) Anyway I was already absent last week sa Excel because of a moral dilemma (P1400 for two days of proctoring for the ACET, or nothing for taking boring exams at the review center? Hmm...) so I knew I couldn't afford to miss any more classes. But alas; the gods are against me. A certain bolero forgot to bring my enrollment money so he persuaded me na pumetix na lang sa Gateway at abangan ang game. Madali naman akong ma-B.I., kaya punta naman kami. Before the game, Spiderman was hanging outside Cafe Adriatico so para matuwa si JP at si Utoy, nagpapicture kami ni Mikopal.

Obviously I was wearing red, so in JP's man-child mind, me wearing red = me a UE Red Warrior. Paulit-ulit-ulit-ULIT throughout the game, pilit ako pinapaupo ni JP sa UE side, mag-cheer daw ako for UE, bakit daw ako nagchee-cheer for Ateneo, basta lahat ng maisip nya. Classic JP amp. After the game he persuaded me to have this picture taken:

Skwater. Tawang-tawa yung dalawang gago e.

Anywayz yun na muna. Shet papatayin ako ng ermat ko pag nalaman nyang tumambay lang ako maghapon, hahaha.Ü

Miss ko na ang Excel peeps ko. Kita-kits next week.

This is some scary shit

Saw this quiz... akala ko pareho lang nung quiz nina Xtiane Kwak-kwak at Poging Mike... but no! Ang scary pa nung nakuha kong card amp. Cool pictures, though.

You are the Devil card. The Devil is based on the
figure Pan, Lord of the Dance. The earthy
physicality of the devil breeds lust. The
devil's call to return to primal instincts
often creates conflict in a society in which
many of these instincts must be kept under
control. Challenges posed by our physical
bodies can be overcome by strength in the
mental, emotional, and spiritual realms. Pan is
also a symbol of enjoyment and rules our
material creativity. The devil knows physical
pleasure and how to manipulate the physical
world. Material creativity finds its output in
such things as dance, pottery, gardening, and
sex. The self-actualized person is able to
accept the sensuality and usefulness of the
devil's gifts while remaining in control of any
darker urges. Image from The Stone Tarot deck.
http://hometown.aol.com/newtarotdeck/

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm not the freaking devil. Grabe naman 'to.

On Quoting

I just don't know how many quotable quotes I've accumulated over the years... pero sigurado akong bigla silang dumami nung naging kaibigan ko na si JP. (Quotable quote machine yun e.) Anyway sino bang marunong maglagay ng random quote generator sa blog? Dun ko na lang ilalagay. Anyway I just wanted to share this.

"God, God, why did you put so many assholes in the world at the same time?"
- Major Santini in The Great Santini after reading news of Fidel Castro and Nikita Kruschev

Wala, natawa 'ko e. Obviously anything I find remotely amusing I stick into this blog. Which explains the pictures of the apple from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Reality Bites is one of my favorite movies of all time, kahit nung bata pa ko. It was written by Ben Stiller and released in 1994, so aside from a pre-scandal Winona Ryder (as Lelaina), it features a young Ethan Hawke as Troy, the philosophy-spouting lead singer for the indie grunge rock band "Hey, That's My Bike." Panalong kombinasyon sa lalaki. Mula doon ito ang mga pinakapaborito kong quotes:

Lelaina: Well, I know this sounds cornball but I'd like to somehow make a difference in people's lives.
Troy: And I... I would like to buy them all a Coke.

Lelaina: Troy, aren't you excited?
Troy: I'm bursting with fruit flavor.

Lelaina: All you do around here, Troy, is eat and couch and fondle the remote control.
Troy: I am not under any orders to make the world a better place.
Lelaina: Well, then what good are you?
Troy: You're a pathological optimist.
Lelaina: You're pathological.

Troy: Did he dazzle you with his extensive knowledge of mineral water or was it his in-depth analysis of Marky Mark that finally reeled you in? I just would have liked to have been there to watch how you rationalized sleeping with a yuppie-head cheeseball on the first date.
Lelaina: He's not a yuppie.
Troy: He's the reason why Cliff's Notes were invented.

Troy: What happened to your normal clothes?
Michael: Wow, Lelaina, look at you. You look... Where'd you get that dress?
Lelaina: Um... I don't know, I just bought it. But I think I'm gonna go change...
Michael: No don't, you look beautiful. You look like... you look like...
Troy: A doily.

Michael: Have I stepped over some line in the sands of coolness with you, because excuse me if somebody doesn't know the secret handshake with you.
Troy: There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite, but there's no secret handshake.

Lelaina: I was really gonna be something by the age of 23.
Troy: Honey, the only thing you have to be by the age of 23 is yourself.
Lelaina: I don't know who that is anymore.
Troy: I do. And we all love her. I love her. She breaks my heart again and again but I love her.

Troy on the answering machine: At the beep, please leave your name, number and a brief justification of the ontological necessity of modern man's existential dilemma and we'll get back to you.

Ben Stiller should write more movies like this. If you want more Reality Bites quotes, click here. For some reason may gumawa pa ng paper tungkol sa pelikulang 'to at ni-relate sa Mythologies ni Barthes. If you'd reeeally like to read it, click here.

Ang ganda talaga ng film na 'to. Kahit ilang beses ko 'to mapanood hindi ako nagsasawa. As a matter of fact I woke up one day last week at ito yung palabas sa Cinemax... kaya hapon na ko pumasok sa school. Haha. Anyway I could relate more to it now, as I am on the verge of graduating college and going into the real world. Real life na 'to. Depressing.

With this, I'd like to end this post with my favorite quote from the movie:

Troy: There's no point to any of this. It's all just a... a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know... a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good. The sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain. The moment where your laughter becomes a cackle... and I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt.

Yun na.

Matagal-tagal na kong wala nito

Song post! This is dedicated to... no one. Narinig ko lang the other night sa FX pauwi at naalala kong gusto ko pala 'to. Malamang gusto mo rin ito if you're senti and a child of the 80s. Conga na 'to!!!

Anything for you
Gloria Estefan

Anything for you
Though you’re not here
Since you said we’re through
It seems like years
Time keeps draggin on and on
And forever’s been and gone
Still I can’t figure what went wrong

I’d still do anything for you
I’ll play your game
You hurt me through and through
But you can have your way

I can pretend each time I see you
That I don’t care and I don’t need you
And though you’ll never see me cryin’
You know inside I feel like dying

And I’d do anything for you
In spite of it all
I’ve learned so much from you
You made me strong

But don’t you ever think that I don’t love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don’t work out right
And you just have to say goodbye

I hope you find somone to please you
Somone who’ll care and never leave you
But if that someone ever hurts you
You just might need a friend to turn to

And I’d do anything for you
I’ll give you up
If that’s what I should do
To make you happy

I can pretend each time I see you
That I don’t care and I don’t need you
And though inside I feel like dying
You know you’ll never see me crying

Don’t you ever think that I don’t love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don’t work out right
And you just have to say goodbye.


Narinig ko somewhere ni-revive daw 'to ni Nina sa latest album nya... pakshet. That girl does not know how to leave good things alone.

I have an infinite capacity for totally useless information.

A few months ago I had an argument with Martin I think about how many sides the old two-peso coin had. He was saying it had eight; I was insisting it had ten. I remember counting it as a child (Christiane: "Ang nerdok mo!") so I was 90% sure it was a decagon.

So this evening I continued this debate with IC and everyone else - Christiane, Mike, and JM - and they all said it was a freakin' octagon. Being the all-knowing being that I am (nahahawa na ko kay Mike), I even let IC convince me to make it serious and bet dinner for the right answer. He searched for a picture for about an hour (ang hirap maghanap) and when he finally found one, he said "Yeess! Jamie o," and proudly showed me this picture:



Dapat narinig nyo nung nagbibilang si IC. Nung una excited pa e, "ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE..." tas nung na-realize nya na ang kanyang pagkakamali naging "SIX, SEven, eight, nine, ten."

I feel so vindicated. Sumasarap ang Chiggy's pag libre.Ü

The Apple

Got this from Bowneh.

Pagkatapos ng isang bilyong taon

Nahanap din ang mansanas na kinain ni Eba na naging sanhi ng pagkakaalis nila sa paraiso

Kayo na lang ang humusga kung bakit niya ito nagustuhan...

Wala lang. Natawa 'ko e.

Tripping down memory lane

Last Friday, arrived 9:30 at Ateneo, went to one of the CTC computer labs to check my mail and finish all my internet crap before going to 208 and, ehem, work on my thesis. Found it locked at 10:00, so decided to grab a few smokes before meeting up with the 25-year-old virgin. On the way to the bigger and better CTC SPG, ran into Combusting Ketchup Boy, a highschool acquaintance from Manresa and a former suitor of a close friend. "You look fat," I told him. "I do not. I just lost 20 pounds," he retorted. Turns out he is now into boxing and wrestling, which explains his added bulk. He was graduating in 20 school days, he informed me, and then I realized if all goes well, I will too.

Combusting Ketchup Boy is an actual batchmate, so aside from Ekstyane the Whiner, Mike the Invincible Man and Bogus Bogart JM, he's all I got from Batch 2000. He moved to Australia for one year before our second year in college, which explains his graduation date. I on the other hand am simply lazy, so I don't have an excuse. We talked about the good 'ol days of the Ateneo, when everybody could enjoy a smoke anytime, anywhere. "Ansarap pa naman mag-yosi sa Faura Driveway," I told him. "Oo, tapos pagkatapos ng klase sabay-sabay magsisindi sa corridor," he replied. "Kaso I think the pocket gardens are here to stay," he added. Dammit.

After graduation he plans to work for a few months and then move back to Australia. I think he's training for some sort of martial art. Before we part he gave me a PETA sticker with a baby chick that says "I am not a nugget." Cute. Made me consider going back to vegetarianism, but I don't think my body can handle it. We high five before going our separate ways.

After the whole day refresher last Sunday I was outside the Santolan LRT station walking to an Antipolo-Junction bound FX when somebody called out, "Ate Jamie!" It was Cristina Punongbayan, the erstwhile Puno, another Assumption Antipolo survivor and former busmate from the lower batch. She was wearing a red sleeveless shirt, long hair, and dangling earrings. We got into the same FX, got to talking about AA, and one word came to me: demure. In my mind's eye I still saw Puno as the loudest busmate in Kuya Edwin's Little Schoolbus of Horrors, the girl Bunny and I called Ike, after Isaac of Hanson. Bwahaha. But after four years of college in UE taking up Dentistry pa-girl at pa-sweet na sya. Man alive. The things college does to us.

"Oist namatay na si Reynaldo Punongbayan a," I told her. "Naalala kita kase di ba tito mo yon?" "Oo nga e. Paa na lang nakuha sa kanya," she replied. Ok. We changed topic soon after that. After we were paroled from Assumption (sa wakas!) it turns out the administration read too many Harry Potter books and tried the House system. Each year level was divided into (surprise, surprise) four Houses, and they were called the Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue Houses. Ang creative di ba. I think it pretty much sucked, so they retired it after one year.

"Namimiss ko yung AA kase sa UE walang morning talks," she said. "Ako yung mga mass saka mga singing practice," I replied. "Oo nga. Tapos after ng mass sasabihin ni Miss Aguilos 'And because you sang veeerry well...'" she mimicked. "May long recess tayo. Woohoo! Skwater nga yun," I laughed.

Puno got off at Ortigas Greenheights -we didn't get each other's numbers, because what would be the point? - and I at Evergreen. It was nearing 9 pm. I trudged home feeling soo much older but none the wiser, like the years just flew by and I stood stock-still, oblivious. Ewan ko. Hindi ba dapat mature na 'ko, or some adult shit like that?

"I was going to be somebody by the age of twenty-three," whined Winona Ryder's character in Reality Bites. "The only person you have to be by the age of twenty-three is yourself," Ethan Hawke replied.

Ayuz.

I Finally Remembered Question Number 5

I was riding in the JP Taxi last night and JP suddenly commented na "nagbago na si Nok." And then, there it was.

Here then is question number 5 of the Top Five Questions Jamie Zamodio Loathes:

"Ba't nagbago ka na?"

F4+Madam used to have this question as a private joke. In the middle of some random conversation Grace would suddenly turn to me and ask this question with a straight face. Now I realize that I don't really hate this question... it just really catches me by surprise every time it's directed at me, and I suddenly plunge to the depths of self-existentialist dilemma. It's like somebody forces Boy Abunda's Magic Mirror in front of my face, and then I have to answer insipid questions like the ones on this list.

So I suggest you try it on yourself. I guarantee you one "Ba't nagbago ka na" will make you want to jump off a cliff.

Ask Me No Questions

Really good conversations are filled with lots of insightful questions. And while most are welcome, some I would rather not answer and I beseech you, please, not to ask me. Here then are the Top Four Questions Jamie Zamodio Loathes:

(4.) "May Assumption ba sa Antipolo?"
This question usually comes from some vitamin-deficient, intellectually-challenged person who only knows Assumptionistas as of the San Lorenzo Village type. Yes guys, may Assumption sa bundok, at dun ako nanggaling kahit sinabihan ako ni Lana nung first year na "Para kang hindi Assumptionista."

(3.) "Tapos na ba thesis mo?"
Not that I don't appreciate the thoughtfulness and the sentiment guys, I swear sometimes nata-touch ako pag kinukumusta ang progress ng TCP Veno, pero every time I hear this I want to jump out of my skin and run screaming to CTC 208 to finish it and end my misery. I'm on it guys, don't worry. Rest assured every waking hour is spent hating the fact that it isn't finished yet.

(2.) "Kumusta na kayo ni [X-File]?"
Oo, kami pa rin. Going strong. HELL-LO, it's been three frickin' years, what kind of a friend are you? For all you know he's already getting married to his current girlfriend. Of course this question inevitably has this for a follow-up.

(1.) "Bakit wala ka pang boyfriend?"
I hate this question because not only does it discreetly suggest the idea that I am so repulsive to the opposite sex that I have not managed to snag one in the three years that I have been single, but also because it impolitely implies that I may be a lesbian. Yes, three years of singlehood lacked any kind of intimacy and romance a formal relationship entails, but it also did not have the iskandaloso fights, the selosan and the pikunan, the sleepless nights spent thinking over and over if you really love him and if he really loves you and how you so want it to be over. I did not miss all that drama. And so what if I don't have a boyfriend? May boys naman ako.

This was actually supposed to be a Top Five list, but unfortunately I forgot my last question. Skwater.

Bukas na pre-board ko for Math! Aaaaarrgghh... [drops dead]