Do I have to do this every FUCKING year

If you knew me, for the past ten years, you'd know June 27 has been kinda weird for me.


In 2000, it was the day I was on my way to Ateneo (barely a freshman) and I got in a car accident serious enough to give me two stitches smack in the middle of my head (and lose a contact lens in the process of getting my face banged against a windshield. To this day I can never imagine how it detached itself from my eye.) Yes, until now I still have the tiniest poknat peeking out between my bangs. The only reason I remember the date of that accident is because I made a mental note to myself saying that I should remember June 27 as the date of that accident. Yeah, I started not to make sense after that accident.


Fast forward to 2008. (Sorry I didn't know June 27 was gonna be something until I realized it tonight so I wasn't keeping track.) It was the day a guy I wasn't planning on liking but for better or for worse liked anyway went away, but before doing so, gave me the best - most mature? - goodbye I ever got from a guy I really liked. (Yeah, best of the three.) Probably because we never had a real relationship, but still, he could've just left without saying goodbye. But he did, and because of this blog I will never forget it. Best line from the posts from that time?

Nung gabi na at durog-durog na yung puso ko kakahintay sa babay nya
lumapit sya sa 'kin.

Syeettt ang cheesy. Pero sobrang swak men pramis, yun talaga naramdaman ko nung gabing yun. Dahil sa linyang yan hindi ko makakalimutan pano maging durog-durog ang puso SYET. (Kung sino man ang magbabasa nitong blog ko at may balak akong kausapin tungkol dito PLEASE WAG NA. Bawal akong tuksuhin tungkol sa ka-cheesyhan ng linyang yun kasi madudurog lang ulit ang puso ko. Joke.)


June 27, 2009. Exactly a year after he left, I totally forgot it was exactly a year after he left because I was too damn depressed about leaving Japan. Fuck it was my home, MY HOME FOR TWO WHOLE YEARS. Yeah some, maybe most of the time I wanted nothing else but to go home to the Philippines, but still.

Siguro less than a month na lang ang itatagal ko dito. Antagal ko nang hinihiling nitong pag-uwi na 'to men.

Matapos kong maranasan sa Japan ang lahaaaaat ng klaseng kahihiyan, lahat ng pagod, hirap, hinanakit, pag-iyak, ito pa pala ang piiinakamalupet sa lahat: ang pamamaalam.

Kanina binuking ako ni Kuya kina Mr. Nonki na uuwi na 'ko in a month (kahit na ilang beses kong pinagpilitang wag na wag nyang sasabihin.) Hindi ko sinasadya, pero sumakto sa 'kin ang mga katagang "burst out crying."

Parang ngayon lang nangyari yun sa buong buhay ko.

If you read my posts while I was still in Japan, you are guaranteed to become depressed. It was fucking torture, and I might not look it but I express torture well. (In my biography the chapter tackling those years will become known as the punny "Japanese Occupation.") I felt fucking stupid most of the time, especially at work, especially around Anjo, and you may not believe it but I am not a person who likes feeling stupid. I may not have been the person in the class with the highest grades, but you can bet your ass I was one hell of an underachiever. And proud. Anyway I digress. As I was saying, it was fucking torture. But, as all good things, all torture must come to an end. And the goodbyes, as you may guess, wasn't much of a surprise: fucking torture.


Because of the posts above as I said I realized June 27 has been significant for me in the last ten years. Well, at least this year was significant because I spent the night of the 27th at home, in a fetal position, having the worst cramps EVER, and all the great home-cooked meals my mom cooked for the weekend were retracing their steps up my throat and jack knifing out of my mouth just for kicks and I couldn't do anything because I was IN TOO MUCH PAAAIINNN and all Utoy and Ashley could do was sit beside me pat my head and tell their tita "Wawa youuuu. :( "


Yeah, so, basically, June 27 is a day of pain for me. Every year. Literally, figuratively, heart-breakingly, tear-jerkingly, gut-wrenchingly, painful. It's like a fucking curse.Wtf.


Anyway. 4:30 na pala. I decided to post after I finished watching Hana Yori Dango Final today and googled for some reviews and found out it was first shown on June 28, 2008 (I dare call myself a fan and watch the goddamn movie the first time exactly two years after it was first shown) and then remember that was the day after Anjo left.

Ok I'll shut up now.